


The World Has Somehow Shifted

by twirlingflurry



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst, Edgar Allan Ravens (All For The Game), F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, I'll add more tags as i go, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Mentioned Riko Moriyama, Palmetto State University Foxes, Panic Attacks, Slow Burn, USC Trojans (All For The Game), basically just your classic jerejean fic, idk my guy it's jean's past, it's gotta be slow bc again... jean's past, like... a lot of angst, oh and the - Freeform, the referenced character death is riko, will make an appearance sometime down the line
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:28:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29914161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twirlingflurry/pseuds/twirlingflurry
Summary: It was disorienting, being left to find his own way. The Nest had been a questionable home at best and the Ravens were far from kind, but they were the pillars he’d built his life upon. It had all changed so quickly, and though Jean could never make himself miss the torment that he had gone through at the Ravens’ hands, it was hard to lose the familiarity of his life. Everything was off-kilter.orJean adjusting to life with the Trojans
Relationships: Alvarez & Jean Moreau, Alvarez & Jeremy Knox, Alvarez/Laila Dermott, Jeremy Knox/Jean Moreau, Laila Dermott & Jean Moreau, Laila Dermott & Jeremy Knox
Comments: 10
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello hello! first off, a thanks to my wonderful beta reader, history11huh :) you've been a huge help! second, this is the first multi-chapter fic i've ever attempted. i have a vague idea of where i'm going with it, but i'm mostly winging it. planning on updating at least once a week. third, content warnings for this chapter: implied rape/non-con, implied violence, flashback (kind of? v short and not in detail), basically just jean being jumpy and wary. let me know if i should add any more!

Jean didn’t like airports. There were too many people and too many signs. The bright lights overhead and from the sun beyond the windows were blinding. He’d never liked them, and that dislike had only grown since he had been shipped off to America. This was the first time he’d ever had to navigate an airport completely alone, though, and he felt the absence of a partner keenly. 

It was disorienting, being left to find his own way. The Nest had been a questionable home at best and the Ravens were far from kind, but they were the pillars he’d built his life upon. It had all changed so quickly, and though Jean could never make himself miss the torment that he had gone through at the Ravens’ hands, it was hard to lose the familiarity of his life. Everything was off-kilter. 

Kevin was back on the other side of the country, having abandoned him at airport security in South Carolina. He’d left with Minyard and hadn’t looked back. It was painfully familiar to watch Kevin leave him behind. 

Now he was stumbling along through the too-bright airport with people pressing in on him from all sides. He figured that following the crowd’s progress was the safest option, and he tried not to be overwhelmed by the excessive amount of signs and flashing screens on every available surface. The uneven sound of the rolling suitcase wheels was grating on his ears, and Jean was desperately grateful to emerge into a spacious room labelled “Arrivals”. 

His eyes scanned the crowd hovering around the edges, and it took no time to find the man waving at him. Jean clenched his jaw, forced himself to take a breath and let it out, and made his way over to his new captain. 

“Hey,” Jeremy greeted, smiling. “Welcome to SoCal!” He held out his hand, and Jean gave it a brief shake, retreating from the contact as soon as socially acceptable. Someone bumped into him from behind, jostling his battered body, and Jean barely stopped himself from jumping out of his skin. He scowled at himself internally, unimpressed with the weakness he was showing. 

Jeremy cleared his throat and chewed on the inside of his cheek. “So… baggage claim?” 

Jean nodded, and tensely followed Jeremy over to the spinning carousel. Relief at having someone to cling to amidst the chaos and trepidation at being near his captain warred within him. He was so caught up in his internal turmoil that he almost didn’t notice when his bag came around, and he hastened to grab it before it went around again. Jeremy confirmed that there was no other luggage forthcoming, and led the way out of the airport. 

The air outside was hot and dry, and Jean had to squint against the glare of the sun that seemed to come from all sides. The hoodie he was wearing wasn’t the best option for the Californian summer. Jeremy was fidgeting beside him and kept sending glances over at Jean, which he opted to ignore. They set a brisk pace across the parking lot, and Jeremy stopped them beside an old truck that looked like it wanted to fall apart. Jean said nothing about the sorry state of the vehicle, knowing that not every team was provided with matching rides courtesy of their teams. Josten hadn’t been too far off when he called the Ravens a cult. 

“I, um… I know it doesn’t look like much,” Jeremy laughed, running a hand through his hair, “but it gets me around, and it’s cheap.” Jean didn’t respond to that. He didn’t care. Jeremy kept talking after a beat. “You can throw your stuff in the back.” 

Jean nodded and headed over to the trunk of the truck. He couldn’t prevent the hiss that escaped him when he tried to lift his bag into the back, and he froze in a futile effort to diminish the red-hot pain that lanced through his body. 

“Shoot, sorry, I didn’t… Here, let me take care of that.” Jeremy gently pried the bag from Jean’s arms and hoisted it into the back. Jean’s heartbeat pounded wildly in his ears at how close Jeremy was. He wasn’t sure if he should be expecting a punishment for not being able to do it himself. Riko never would’ve let it slide. 

As soon as Jeremy had loaded his stuff, though, he stepped away and Jean could breathe again. Jeremy opened the passenger door on his way around the truck and was settled in his own seat when Jean finally found it in himself to move. The interior of the truck was marginally better than the outside. It was clean, at least, and the seats weren’t uncomfortable. Jean gingerly sat down and had to close the door twice for it to actually latch. He buckled himself in and waited for Jeremy to start driving, but the engine stayed silent. Jean cautiously turned to look at him. 

“Do you like coffee?” Jeremy finally asked into the charged silence. Jean furrowed his brow and nodded with uncertainty. With another bright smile, Jeremy brought the engine to life with a sputter and sped out of the parking lot. 

Jean didn’t know what that was all about, but he pressed himself into his door and watched the traffic weaving around them while still keeping Jeremy in his peripheral vision. It was essential to anticipate any sudden movement. He blinked exhaustion out of his eyes and stifled a yawn. Last night he’d had a fitful sleep and been unable to rest, and flights always took a toll on his energy. It was unwise to be off his guard around his captain, though, so Jean made himself stay alert through sheer willpower. The tension in his muscles was an uncomfortable but familiar rigidity. 

When Jeremy pulled into a drive-through, his previous question made sense. Jean wondered if it was a trick. 

“Any special requests?” Jeremy asked as they pulled into the long line. 

Jean didn’t know how to answer that. He shrugged, not turning away from the window. 

Jeremy hesitated and rephrased his question. “I don’t… Um, do you want anything in it?”

He just wanted to sleep and get out of the truck filled with the stifling presence of his new teammate. The dorm probably wouldn’t be any better, but he could at least keep his distance there. Finally, he gritted out, “I’m not picky.” 

Jeremy tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as the truck crawled through the drive-through. He ordered Jean a black coffee, and Jean half-expected him to dump it in his lap as soon as they started driving again. Jeremy just put it into the cup holder between their two seats, though, and sipped at his own sugar-filled concoction. They didn’t say anything for the rest of the short drive, and Jeremy lugged Jean’s suitcase to the dorms, leaving him only his carry-on and cup of coffee to carry.

The elevator ride was short, and Jean stood as far away from Jeremy as possibly. He followed Jeremy to their room, and as he unlocked the door, Jean idly wondered if black decor was illegal in Los Angeles. He felt out of place in his all-black attire, but he would probably feel like an outsider even completely decked out in Trojan colours. Abby had tried to give him a Foxes hoodie back in Palmetto, but Jean hated the vibrant orange. It wasn’t a good look for anyone, and he was still fond of his Ravens hoodie, despite everything. The thick black material was soft and comfortable, and it hid his injuries. He was grateful for the absence of students, given that classes weren’t in session. The rival school apparel would draw more hostile looks than he wanted.

As expected, Jeremy was the first to break the silence when he closed the door behind them. “Normally the dorms aren’t open in June, but they made an exception. We’ll have to clean up after ourselves if we use the common areas, and the cafeterias are shut down for now so we’ll be doing all our own cooking, but it’s not a bad deal.” He ran a hand through his hair and lowered it to drum his fingers on his thigh. “Um… here, I’ll show you to the bedroom.” 

The bedroom. In a dorm room with another man in an empty building, where no one could hear him yell. He’d hoped that Jeremy would let some time pass before inflicting this particular cruelty, but it made sense that he’d want to take advantage of the absence of others while he could. For a couple seconds, Jean couldn’t get his feet to move. His breath hitched in his throat. He gave his head a vicious shake and forced himself to follow Jeremy. Postponing the inevitable helped no one. 

Jeremy stopped at the entrance to the bedroom down the hallway, flicked on the light, and gestured for Jean to precede him inside. His footsteps were shaky and quick, but he kept his jaw set and stared stonily past Jeremy into the room. There were two beds set on opposite sides of the room, a small nightstand next to each and a window in the middle of the two with its blinds open. The left side was already decorated with posters and pictures hanging on the wall, and there was an alarm clock on the nightstand. Jean walked stiffly over to the right side and placed his bag down next to his bed. He turned around to see that Jeremy had entered the room behind him. 

His heart jumped in his throat, and Jean took an involuntary half-step back. Jeremy paused mid-step and stayed where he was. He put Jean’s luggage down and went to perch on his own bed. 

“That whole side’s yours. I won’t let any of my mess clutter your area,” Jeremy promised with a toothy grin. Dimples made an appearance on his cheeks. 

Jean didn’t know what to do. He was sure one wrong move would make the world crash down around him. Finally, he cleared his throat and said, “So I am not to go onto your side?” He wanted to clarify the boundaries before he made a mistake and earned a punishment. 

“Oh, no, sorry, I didn’t mean- No, don’t worry. You can come over to my side whenever you like, I don’t really mind. I just meant that I’ll make sure not to make a mess of your side.”

Jean frowned. He resolved to not go onto Jeremy’s side anyway, just in case this was a trick. He hesitantly grabbed the luggage that Jeremy had set down and wheeled it over to his side. There was a small wardrobe that he could unpack his stuff into later, but for now he just wanted to get out of the bedroom. Jeremy hadn’t done anything yet, but there was no telling how fast his mood might change. Jean didn’t trust his smiles or the easy way he navigated the world. He inched towards the door to see if Jeremy would tell him to stop. When no orders were forthcoming, Jean slipped out of the room and poked around the rest of the dorm. 

It was different from the Nest. The colours were what threw him the most. Jean wasn’t used to having everything so light. Living somewhere that didn’t feel like a cave would take some getting used to. Even back in France, his room was in a dark room down in the basement, and he spent most of his time there when he was in the house. It was easier to avoid his parents if he was out of sight. 

The door to the dorm opened directly into the living room, and the kitchen was off to the side, separated by a half-wall. Jeremy was still in the bedroom down the hall. Being around him was nerve-wracking, but not knowing what he was doing was worse. At least there was nothing incriminating in his bags. It was mostly clothes from the Nest and French books that Abby had picked up for him. 

He still needed to buy some essentials. He had used Abby’s spare shampoo, body wash, and toothpaste in South Carolina. Hopefully Jeremy would lend him some stuff tonight, and he made a mental note to go buy his own as soon as he could. Jean wasn’t fond of sharing his things. 

When he’d looked his fill, Jean went over to one of the couches to wait for Jeremy to come out. He stifled another yawn and wedged himself into the corner of the couch, the soft cushions surrounding him and doing nothing to help him stay awake. A few minutes went by, and Jeremy still had yet to return. Jean let his eyes drift shut, telling himself that he’d open them the moment he heard Jeremy come down the hall. He just needed to rest them for a minute. 

Falling asleep had not been part of the plan, but the next thing he knew, Jean startled awake and braced himself for pain when he registered the feeling of a hand on his shoulder. Panic was quick to fill his veins. He kept his eyes squeezed shut. It didn’t matter who his attacker was, whether it be Riko or another one of the Ravens. He just had to survive today; he could worry about the hits as they came and deal with the aftermath later. 

When the hand hastily snatched away from him, though, and when fists didn’t rain down on him and knives didn’t slice his skin, Jean slowly peeled his eyes open. The surroundings were unfamiliar, and it took him a second to recognize that he was in his new dorm room and to register Jeremy a few steps back with his hands up placatingly. 

“Sorry,” Jeremy said, wincing. “I tried to wake you up by talking but you were out cold. Just wanted to know if you’d prefer to go crash in the room instead of on the couch. I’ve also got some snacks in the fridge if you’d rather eat first.” Jean blinked up at him, and Jeremy kept talking. It was like a dam had broken and he couldn’t stop the words from pouring out. “If you’re not, though, that’s okay too. And I was planning on ordering in for supper tonight but it’s a bit early for that.” 

Jean didn’t want to listen to the incessant babbling anymore. He got to his feet without a word, gave Jeremy a wide berth as he walked around him, and headed to the bedroom. Sleeping in the open was a mistake, and even though he wasn’t fond of the bedroom, he’d rather be there than defenceless in the middle of everything. At least there was a wall beside his bed that he could sleep with his back to. 

To his dismay, Jeremy’s footsteps sounded from behind him. He pretended not to hear him and went straight through the doorway to his bed. It was more comfortable than the one that he’d had at Evermore. Jeremy was still hovering in the doorway, and Jean flicked a look up at him, all his senses on high alert. 

“Do you need something?” Jean asked tensely. He hoped not. The only reason he’d come to the bedroom was to be out of Jeremy’s sights but that had apparently failed. 

“I’ll just… I’ll let you know when dinner’s here. Any preferences?” He ran his fingers through his hair again. It sent a flash of annoyance through Jean for no good reason. 

“I’m not picky,” he said, repeating his words from earlier. Jeremy nodded and left. Jean waited a beat to be sure that he wasn’t coming back, then yanked the covers over himself and pressed his back to the wall, falling into an uneasy sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: mentions of past violence, mentions of r*ko, implied past non-con drugging, nothing graphic. basically just jean's past

The window should not have been as interesting as it was. 

There were plenty whenever he travelled for games, and a few of the classes had views of the outside world, but he’d never been this enthralled by them before. Maybe he didn’t want to fall in love with the windows too much, because he knew they were another dream he could never have. But here… they were everywhere, and he was going to live in a dorm where he could actually see the world beyond the walls, and he couldn’t quell the thrill that he felt at that realization. 

He rummaged around the kitchen, stole a slice of fresh bakery bread, and dragged a chair over to the kitchen window so that he could sit and watch the morning as it unfolded. The campus was devoid of any other students. Palm trees swayed gently in the breeze, and the paved pathways were clean and empty. A pair of songbirds flitted past the window, and Jean was suddenly desperate to hear them. With a glance down the hallway at the bedroom where Jeremy was still asleep, Jean quietly eased the pane open. 

It took Jean no time at all to decide that he liked birdsong. 

He didn’t know how long he stood there, enraptured and in awe. All too soon, he heard the bedroom door open, and he hastened to shut the window once more. When Jeremy entered the kitchen, Jean was settled back in his seat, face carefully blank but heart rocketing in his chest. Jeremy was wearing a Trojans hoodie, and a smile lit up his face when he saw Jean. 

“Did you get something to eat?” Jeremy asked, opening the fridge and grabbing some juice. 

“Yes,” Jean said, holding up the last bit of his bread. 

“Awesome!” Jeremy grabbed a piece for himself and sat down at the table in the corner. He tilted his head in consideration at where Jean had moved his chair, but didn’t ask. “Sorry that I wasn’t up earlier, I’ve been sleeping in during the month off. Getting back on schedule’s gonna be rough.” 

Jean ate the last bite of his bread. He weighed the pros and cons of speaking, and finally asked, “What is your schedule here?” 

Another smile took over Jeremy’s face as he looked at Jean. Jean searched for the hidden danger behind it. “Starting next Monday, summer practices are at 8:00. We have a couple hours of cardio or strength, depending on the day, and then we meet up again in the afternoon for court time. Coach will go over it some more when everyone’s back, and we can worry about the school semester schedule when we get to it.”

“So it’s twenty-four hour days, even during the summer, yes?” Jean asked, wanting to be sure. 

“Uh… yeah?” Jeremy ran his hand through his hair for the millionth time since Jean had arrived. “I’m not… Yes, twenty-four hour days, year-round.”

Jean nodded and turned his attention back to the world beyond the window. The sun was already bright and merry, shedding its light on everything it could reach. Even the dust motes floating in the dorm weren’t immune to its magic. The air was sparkling and alive around him, and Jean couldn’t remember having seen anything like it before. 

At length, he peeled his attention away and discreetly flicked a look at Jeremy, only to find that Jeremy’s contemplative stare was already upon him. Jean’s jaw tightened and he abruptly stood up and shoved his chair back into its place at the table. He headed to the living room after that, not wanting to be near Jeremy, not wanting to know what his expression had been while he was looking out of that sacred window. Most of all, he didn’t want Jeremy to know how spellbinding he found it. The only reason someone would want to know what Jean liked was so that they could fracture his heart further when they inevitably took it away. 

The anxiety-induced tightness in his chest was as uncomfortable as it was familiar. Jean grit his teeth and fisted his hands. He needed to vent his unease, but he didn’t know how he was supposed to. Jeremy hadn’t mentioned anything about court time before the team got there, there was nothing to do in the apartment, and Jean didn’t want to ask Jeremy where the gym was because he’d already asked too many questions today. 

At Evermore, Jean would cloister himself in his bedroom if he ever needed to escape the presence of his teammates, because half the time they’d overlook him and torment someone else if he wasn’t within sight. Of course, anytime they wanted to take things to a level of cruelty that was unacceptable with any other player, they would find Jean. But hiding gave him a bit of much-needed reprieve. Here, he knew that Jeremy wouldn’t be able to forget about him, since it was only the two of them. Jean also wasn’t eager to give Jeremy any ideas by retreating to the bedroom. So, he sat on the living room couch and settled on digging his nails into his palms in an attempt to slow the spiral of his thoughts. 

It wasn’t a surprise when Jeremy came into the room a few minutes later, but Jean still wasn’t keen to see him. The silence lasted all of two seconds before Jeremy spoke. 

“I was planning on going for a run today, if you’d like to join me,” he said. There was that smile again. He made that expression so often that Jean was sure his facial muscles must have been abnormally strong from excessive use. “But I’m down for anything if there’s something else you want to do.” 

Staying here alone wasn’t an option. Even though he knew the Trojans - and every other team, for that matter - didn’t have the partner-based system the Ravens did, Jean was too accustomed to always being near someone else, no matter if he actually wanted to be or not. It would take a while for that to wear off. Plus, he still needed to purge his body of the nervous energy coursing through his veins, and exercise seemed like a good solution. 

“We can go for a run,” Jean said. He leveraged himself up off the couch and towards the bedroom to grab some clothes before Jeremy tried to keep him talking. He changed in the bathroom, and Jeremy was ready at the front door when he emerged. 

“Ready?” he asked, once Jean had finished tying up his shoes. 

“Yes.” 

The pair jogged down the stairs and out of the dorm building, setting an idle pace as they began their run in the pulsating heat. It was unfamiliar to Jean, because the Ravens never practiced outdoors, and Jean hadn’t spent a single summer day outside since arriving in West Virginia. The Ravens ran brutal practices within the air-conditioned walls of the Nest, and he had had no reason to venture beyond them when there were no classes or games to attend. Besides, the light outdoors would have just been confusing, given that they ran on sixteen hour days during the breaks. 

The rapid chattering of some animal startled Jean, and he whipped his head towards the source of the noise. He stumbled on the pavement and barely stopped himself from face-planting. 

“What is that?” he asked, before he could think better of it. 

Jeremy came to a stop beside Jean and listened for a second before grinning. “That’s a squirrel. Loud little guy, hey?” 

Jean scanned the trees intently, and finally located a tuft of fur that seemed to be in constant motion. He wanted to see it so that he could translate the word in his head, but he didn’t have a clear enough view. 

“Here, let’s get closer,” Jeremy suggested, but he was watching Jean instead of the squirrel. “Be really quiet though, we don’t want to scare it away.” 

Jean refrained from pointing out that Jeremy was the one that made the most noise, and cautiously followed him off the path toward the trees. He kept his eyes trained on the energetic animal, not wanting to lose sight of it. Finally, he was close enough that he recognized the little rodent when it paused for a moment. It was grey instead of the red he had glimpsed from time to time in France, and it was significantly larger than any he’d seen before, but it was unmistakable nonetheless. 

“Écureil,” he murmured to himself. 

“Huh?” 

He froze. Speaking French was forbidden. He knew that, and yet he had just spoken in his native tongue in front of his captain. 

“I’m sorry,” Jean apologized, forcing himself to keep his tone indifferent and free of panic. “It won’t happen again.” 

“Oh, no, you don’t need to apologize!” Jeremy said hastily. “Was that French?” 

“Yes. It was just the French word for squirrel.” He gripped the fabric of his shirt and braced himself to be reprimanded for speaking in a language Jeremy couldn’t understand. 

Instead, Jeremy responded with, “That’s super cool. I wish I could speak another language.” He paused for a beat. “Could you repeat the word for squirrel?” 

Jean obliged, and Jeremy tried to imitate it. He absolutely butchered the word, but… he didn’t seem opposed to the foreign speech. He hadn’t told Jean to stop speaking it. Tentative hope took root inside of Jean. Maybe he could reclaim his first language and speak it more regularly. 

He destroyed that thought the second it came to mind, and scolded himself for ever having allowed himself to hope. Hope only ever led to shattered souls and hearts shredded by grief, broken fingers and falling down flights of stairs. He should have known better by now. 

They started running again, and Jeremy began asking Jean for the French words of mundane things. His accent was thick, but Jean had no room to judge, given that he’d stubbornly held on to his own accent. It was one of very few things he’d ever been able to keep. He’d fought tooth and nail to get out upon his arrival at the Nest, and when that hadn’t worked, Jean had sunk his claws into any individuality he’d been able to hold on to. Riko did everything in his power to break Jean and rid him of his resistance and rebellion, but this was one thing he had never managed to steal. 

The slap of shoes against pavement and the enthusiastic questions that Jeremy was asking beside him joined the pounding that had taken up residence in Jean’s temples. The heat waves that the sun was shoving onto him were becoming uncomfortable, but Jean wasn’t going to complain. Complaints led to pain, and maybe Jeremy would refuse to let him step outdoors again for a while as a lesson. Jean didn’t want to lose this newfound freedom. 

“Jean?” Jeremy asked, and Jean realized that he must have missed something Jeremy said. They had also stopped running at some point, but Jean didn’t remember that. 

“Sorry, what?” he asked, blinking the dizziness out of his eyes. 

Jeremy frowned. “I’d just asked what grass was in French. You good?” 

Jean nodded, swayed slightly on his feet, and went to keep on running. His lips felt dry, his throat was sandpaper, and his heart was beating too fast for how leisurely their pace was. 

“Jean, wait.” Jean halted immediately and turned to look at Jeremy. “I think you’re overheating. Let’s sit down for a bit, yeah?” 

Jean shook his head. “I can keep going.”

“I’m sure you can,” Jeremy said placatingly, “but you don’t have to. Come on, let’s rest for a minute over here.” He gestured to a shaded spot beneath a tree. “I’m getting warm too.”

Swallowing a sigh, Jean walked over to where Jeremy had indicated and leaned against the trunk of the tree. The shade was a balm to his flaming skin. 

Belatedly, Jean answered Jeremy’s question from early. “Gazon,” he said, then elaborated at Jeremy’s puzzled expression. “It’s the word for grass.”

Jeremy’s answering grin was brighter than the sun. He tried the word out, then said, “I thought that was the word for boy.” 

“You’re thinking of garçon.” Jean closed his eyes and leaned further into the tree, soaking up all the cold he could. 

They stayed underneath the tree a while longer in silence, and though Jean remained wary and on guard, he couldn’t help but understand why Kevin was so fond of Jeremy. It was easy, Jean realized. Out in the open, standing reasonably far apart so that he didn’t feel crowded, listening to the birds and the squirrels and the song of the wind as it danced between branches - it was easy, for the first time Jean could remember. 

When they walked back to the dorm - Jeremy said he just didn’t want to run anymore, but Jean saw through his feeble lie in a second - and when Jeremy insisted on getting Jean to drink some water and take a cold shower to help cool down, Jean felt like he’d entered an alternate reality. People didn’t help him; he was always responsible for putting himself back together with trembling hands and aching loneliness. Renee was the exception, since she hardly passed as human. No one else was supposed to care about his well-being or his preferences, but Jeremy didn’t even question Jean’s sharp refusal when he offered him a pill. He just easily put the rattling bottle back into the cupboard, without demanding that Jean take one anyway, and left Jean alone for a minute to rehydrate. 

Back in the bedroom, where he went to collect his towel for the shower Jeremy was so adamant he take, Jean found a container of aloe vera on his bed with a sticky note on it that said, “you look a little sunburnt - use as much as you need :)” in a messy scrawl. Tentatively, he dabbed a bit of the stuff onto his nose and cheeks, and it soothed the fire raging underneath his skin. A pleasant warmth spread its way through his chest, and Jean didn’t know what to make of it, so he hastily closed the container and locked himself in the bathroom. 

The frigid spray of the water helped clear Jean’s head, and he chalked the foreign feeling of comfort and thankfulness up to his mind being muddled from overexertion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wrote this between exams and projects, and i gotta say that it was a lot more fun than schoolwork! thanks for reading :)


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